Tuesday, October 30, 2007
I lied
and the last test of the day
Since I'm going out of town a few times during NaBloPoMo I wanted to make sure I still had the technology to post from afar.
The last two posts were from my cell phone, this one is from email. I don't think I'm bringing my laptop with me to Indianapolis since I'll only be gone one full day, I figured I could do that post via cell phone. When I'm away in Atlanta my friend's I'm with have computers so I can do the email version from there.
I just needed to make sure I knew how to do it and that it actually works! :)
So in 3 hours I'm having that meeting that I mentioned earlier. Last night I met with the rest of the board to plan how this meeting will go. I'm pretty super stressed though. The person we need to speak with takes everything way too personally, and hears stuff in her own way. Kinda like, if we said "here's a way to do something better" she would hear "we think you suck". It makes it hard to talk to her. But fortunately, I don't have to do all of the talking. In fact, I'm hoping to say very little and just kinda "be there". We'll see how it goes.
In the meantime I have been quite slothlike today. I had all these grand productive plans, but I just didn't get anything done. My big goal is to take the trash down when I leave for this meeting. If I get that done, I'll at least not have completely wasted today.
Ok, I'm going to hit send and hope this email becomes a post!
*crossed fingers*
Another test
:-)
Sunday, October 28, 2007
*YAWN*
So with all of the stress about that other stuff I've been having trouble letting my mind shut off, and so I've had some insomnia the last few nights- serious insomnia. I probably got 3 hours each of the last 3 nights. Today I spent almost the whole day napping to make up for it, and let me tell you- it was a wonderful thing!
And now it's not even 9pm and I'm trying to hold out for another hour before I go to bed for the night. I'm praying that I didn't ruin tonight's sleep with all of it today, because I have a big day tomorrow.
Yes, I have the baby, so that's part of it- but also tomorrow night I have a dinner meeting and then that discussion that I mentioned last week that I'm dreading. I'm not going to be alone, so it will be ok, but it still won't be fun. I'd like to be alert for it though.
CFQAA
A
BD++
So that last part was Ringo's contribution to this blog as he walked across then sat down on the keyboard. I think I will take that as a sign that he wants me to finish this up.
Wish me luck tomorrow!
Saturday, October 27, 2007
The Good, the Bad, and the Great
regarding kissing...
A bad kiss turns your stomach
A good kiss makes your stomach do a little flip
A great kiss is when you can close your eyes days later and think about that kiss and your stomach still flips
A bad kiss feels like you've kissed a frog
A good kiss feels like you've kissed a prince
A great kiss makes you feel like you're a princess
A bad kiss feels like you're smothering
A good kiss takes your breath away
A great kiss leaves your breathless
A bad kiss can't be over soon enough
A good kiss lasts and lasts
A great kiss leaves you wanting more...
I'm sure I could come up with some more, but I wouldn't want my friends who read this blog from their jobs to find this site suddenly blocked by their firewalls due to inappropriate content...
Friday, October 26, 2007
The good, the bad, and the yummy
I guess I'll start with the bad...
The meeting was, unfortunately, exactly what I feared. Maybe worse. I then had some follow up meetings with others involved and there's drama to be had all around.
But the good news is, the others have my back. I will not have to go into the "come to Jesus" meeting alone. In fact, I'm hoping to just be there and have some others lead it. We're meeting early next week to take care of stuff. If the stars are aligned right, stuff will actually work out.
Last night I had a bitch of a time falling asleep though because of this. My mind would NOT turn off. I kept going over the details of what all had transpired during the day, and tried to come up with approaches to make everything work out ok blah blah blah...
So here's where the yummy comes in...
So after the baby went home I today I went straight to the store to buy me some wine and wood to do a fire and ensure a nice relaxing evening at home where I can chill and maybe get a good night's sleep. I blew up the air mattress and I'm camping out in front of the fire tonight. I've had 2 glasses of yummy wine and am about to light the logs. I just got a call from the subject of last week's dreams. He's going to call back later before sleep. So I went from uber stressed to completely relaxed with some wine, a fire, and anticipating a chat with a man who can give orgasms without even realizing it.
Life, while it might get messy at times, does not suck.
Thursday, October 25, 2007
I loathe confrontation
I got an email last night that someone wants to talk to me about some issues. We're meeting in about 45 minutes to discuss them. I am so stressed about what those issues might be. I know that this meeting is not going to be the confrontational one- it will be the one I will most likely have to have as a result of this one.
I used to be in management and I left it, one main reason because I hate this type of stuff. If someone isn't pulling their weight, or has an attitude problem, I really don't want to be the one to tell them.
Somehow though, I have a feeling that this is how it will turn out. And while I have others who are part of the group I will be representing, I can't see anyone stepping up to say "me! me! let me be the one to tell her she sucks!"
My left eye is twitching right now. This is one of those stress responses that I tend to get that I hate. I hate it because I can't hide it. Butterflies or sweaty palms are something that aren't really visible, but an eye twitch- well I have bangs, maybe I can get them to grow really quickly to hang over my eyes? Yeah, maybe not.
Well I'm off to the meeting. Here's to hoping that it's actually a "wow, I'm so impressed with the dedication and quality of the work going on and I just wanted to share that with you" meeting and not what I fear.
Damn eye, STOP IT NOW!
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
My lame little life
So tonight someone asked me what I have planned for tomorrow. Guess what- I didn't really have an answer. Is that sad, or what?
But then I think of all the times when I just was craving a day to do nothing, dreaming of having even an evening with nothing planned and I think that I'm pretty lucky right now. It might seem lame to others, but to me it's good for my soul.
I know I have to go back to work soon, so maybe that's why I'm savoring these days of nothing so much now. I love that I can hang with my cats, watch some tv, play on the computer, shower only if I feel like it, and stay in my pj's all day if that's what I want. I know that these days will be few and far between in the near future so I have to enjoy them now.
And honestly, it's a lame life, but I like it. It's cheaper than back when I used to go out all the time, and it's very low on the drama factor.
So I'm not going to apologize for having a lame life, I'm going to embrace it!
Try it- you might like it too!
Monday, October 22, 2007
No doubt in my mind
I definitely am happier as a kitty mom than I could ever be as a mom of a human.
I love the baby I've been taking care of. She's sweet and cute and doesn't cry too much. However, I am bored out of my gourd when hanging with her. I said that it's because she's not a great conversationalist, but you know what, neither are my cats, but I don't get bored with them.
People say it's different when they're your own. But I still think that I would be bored. My friend cracked me up- she said that if it was my own, I'd be going to work and she'd be in daycare all day so I would only see her in the evenings and it wouldn't be so bad... I have a feeling though that if that is how you feel, then you have no place being a parent.
And considering every moment I spent with my cats brings me happiness- it confirms that I was not meant to be a parent of humans...I am destined to be just a crazy cat lady. And I'm ok with that :)
Sunday, October 21, 2007
Sweet Dreams are Made of This
So lately I've been having some pretty intense dreams. This seems to happen to me in cycles. When I get into one of these vivid cycles it makes me just want to nap more often ;) The dreams are so real, and so intense. Ok, I'll come out and say it- they are hot...and I have some pretty amazing physical response to them.
It varies who they are about. One of the most mind blowing ones I ever had was actually about that guy from Bare Naked Ladies. Next time I heard a song by then I think I actually blushed. More often they are about real people though. Sometimes it can be pretty weird when I run into whoever after one of these! Sometimes they are about this random man that as far as I know I've never met, but he is a regular in my dreams. I wonder if this guy actually exists out there and is having similar dreams about me the same nights. I think that could make for an interesting Lifetime Movie.
This latest round have actually involved someone who I went to high school with. I guess going to the reunion was not a bad thing!
Ok well I think I'm going to go take a nap... ;)
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
This makes me sad
A friend of mine is ending her marriage. And the saddest part of it is that they are both good people, but it is for the best. Well maybe not the best for him, but definitely the best for her and their children. And it sucks.
They had had relationship problems many years ago early in their marriage and got through those. They worked hard and rebuilt trust. They seemed to have made it work. But then time and circumstance changed all of that.
She's going through so much stress trying to make the right decisions and choices for her and her kids. I wish there were easy answers for her.
I remember ending a long relationship/engagement and I know how tough that was. I can't even imagine what it would have been like with 14 years, two kids, co-owned property and all that love that had been great once in the mix.
Fortunately she is a strong person who has many people sending their good thoughts and prayers her way. I know down the road she will be happy again.
I hate that seeing that relationship dissolve for selfish reasons too. If I thought that was a good relationship and I was wrong, than how can I ever believe that I can find a good one myself? I know that I need to accept that the only people who really know the relationship are those who are in it, but it still leaves me unsettled.
And anyway, that's why I'm sad.
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Why I'm kinda dreading tomorrow...
So a few weeks ago my friend's daycare provider shattered her wrist and had surgery to rebuild it. Ergo, she could not be lifting and caring for a bebe for about 6 weeks. Well, due to my work situation (or lack there of at the moment) I was asked to take care of the bebe on Monday's and Fridays. Now I know the kid because I'm friends with her mom, and for the most part, I like babies. It's once they hit toddler that they start to get on my nerves. So, being the sucker that I am, I agreed. And I do like the kid. And I would enjoy the days with her if they were 4 hours long. But this child is SO high maintenance. She will cry if she's not being held. Actually, just being held isn't enough, she needs to be moving the whole time. So for about 8 hours a day I'm rocking and swaying and singing and itsybitsyspidering and it reminds me why I have cats. Last Friday and Monday I was in NJ so I didn't have her. Then this Friday her dad had off work so I had another reprieve. But tomorrow, I get the kid again. And I'm not in the mood for it at all. She's cute- really. And I guess taking care of her is good exercise. But ugh, I'm so not in the mood for rocking and swaying and singing and itsybitsyspidering for 8 hours tomorrow. I hope that wrist heals quickly! She really is cute though...
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Coming out of hibernation
So every now and again I like to ignore the world around me. I don't answer the phone, I don't reply to emails, I just spend time in my own little world.
Sometimes I am worse than other times. This past week or so since I went to Jersey I hadn't been a good girl about replying to many emails- only the ones I really felt like responding to.
So then today I had to get back to reality and actually go through all my emails and respond to all of them, deal with some stuff, etc etc.
I also looked at my resume. I found a job I might apply to.
And while I do feel somewhat good about getting out of a rut, it also kinda sucks.
I love being able to hibernate. I guess it's not the most mature way to be, but it works for me. A vacation from the world around me makes me enjoy that world more when I step back into it.
So I answered all the bullshit emails that I've been putting off, and then waited for responses back and got none. So is this punishment for blowing people off for 4 days, or is it normal and the guilt I felt for doing it myself was uncalled for?
And in other news, I am pondering building a small fire. I love my fireplace more than I can express, and I still have 4 logs left from last year. Now those must be some seriously seasoned logs, and I bet it'll be a perfect fire. And afterall, Survivor is on tonight, and we all know that fire represents life, so if I want to actually get a life, maybe I should do it. It's only 62 right now and supposed to go down to the 40's overnight. I think I am going to do it!
So I have to run- 4 minutes till Survivor and I need to build my fire!
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Decisions Decisions...
So it's still early enough in the fall TV season that I have yet to decide on a regular schedule. Tonight I have two shows at 9 that I'd like to watch- neither of which I'm totally hooked on yet. I'll DVR one, but trying to decide which to watch live is tough.
Being on the ABC Studio's advisory panel I feel a bit of loyalty to Private Practice. I was part of the first focus group after the pilot, and I'm happy to say that they made some changes that we suggested. Then we had the chance to watch the first 2 episodes about a month ago to give more feedback before it hit the airwaves. I feel very important and special. It's always cool when they listen. Of course we all have said we hate Geozzy on Greys and they haven't seem to listen to us on that one yet, but we'll see.
Anyway, I have this loyalty to Private Practice, but I also have one to Bionic Woman. The reason I have a connection to this show is because I went to High School with one of the stars. Molly Price was a few years ahead of us, but I knew her through doing some other plays and stuff with her. Plus her brother was in my class, and her whole family went to my church. Speaking of her brother, he didn't bother going to our reunion. His loss.
Anyway, how do I decide which one is worthy of live watching? Often my sis and I will IM during shows we both watch, so I just IM'd her to ask what she was doing, and she hasn't decided yet either. (She's also on the Panel and same HS as Molly so she has the same conundrum as I do)
It's funny how we live 500 miles apart, but watch TV together. We ALWAYS watch Lost together; either via IM or with phone calls during the commercials. So when I tell people I have to be home in time for a TV show they don't get why I can't just DVR it. But stuff like that is more of a bonding family thing than just a show, and I guess it's just hard to explain.
Well, I have a few hours before I need to do my duty TV watching. I think I'm going to go for a swim in the tub. I wasn't allowed to soak in the bath when I had my stitches in. I just need to go dig up a new book to read...
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
B9
Nope, not playing bingo-- that was the result from the biopsy I had. I was pretty sure that's what it would be, but better safe than sorry. It was something that would have wanted to turn to cancer when it grew up, so it's a good thing that I did get it dug out. The suffering was worth it.
What suffering? Well, in my old age I have grown allergic to any type of adhesive. No bandaids, no tape, not even paper tape. I bought "hypoallergienic" bandaids and still have huge raised welts a week later. So, in other words, the 8 stitches did not bother me nearly as much as the bandaid that I had to have over it.
But anyway, it's all good :)
So in other news, I have signed up to do NaBloPoMo again. I had such a blast doing it last year, met a bunch of cool people, and even though I won nothing, I did get that fantastic sense of accomplishment (or whatever that button says!). So in order to get ready for it, I am going to try and be a wee bit better about posting.
I am worried, because I am going out of town 2 different weekends in November. The 1-3rd I'll be in Indianapolis for a conference. And then of course I'll be in Atlanta on November 18th for The Police! I'm so excited for that I can barely sit still!
I'm sure I'll make it though. Considering in November I'm going to actually have to start looking for work again, I'll probably have a few things to share.
So now I'm off to hunt down some of my old NaBloPoMo buddies from last year and see if they're on board again...
Saturday, October 06, 2007
I had a fucking blast!!
Friday, October 05, 2007
Tonight's the night
So yes, I have decided to go to the reunion. The kitties and I drove up to Jersey this week and they are staying with their gramma and Aunt Michelle while I head down the shore to hang out with people I barely hung out with in 20 years.
Why did I decide to go? Well, I guess being a cat person, I must be full of curiosity. I'm just really wondering how it will be, how people have changed, who hasn't changed, etc.
So I just got a manicure, giving it a little bit more time to set, then Ill be packing an overnight back that's got my little black dress (I believe that's the uniform for these types of gigs, right?) in it and hitting the road.
I splurged on the hotel room down the shore because I did not want to have to make the hour+ drive back up to my mom's. I'm also glad I did that so I don't have to dress up here then drive an hour all dressed up and not feel pretty once I get there.
Gawd I hope this is worth it!
I'll update after! Wish me luck...