5 Cats Sh

About

Still a spinster, and I live alone with two cats. I would call myself a "crazy cat lady" but my saving grace is that I think technically you have to have at least 7 cats to be an official crazy cat lady...

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Blogroll

  S T A C Y V E R B
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Listening

 Chick Music mostly, Dar Williams, Susan Werner, Eva Cassidy; also 80's tunes and the Alarm

Reading

Finished everything I have, I need to find a new author to get hooked on...

Viewing

 Right now I'll just admit to House and Lost ;)

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

 False Charity?

So there's this woman Im acquainted with who does good stuff to make herself look good. All she ever talks about is how fabulous she is because of this good deed, or that charitable act...

She waits while people pat her on the back, tell her how lucky we are to have her in the world, and worship the ground she walks on.

And they do.

And I dont get it.

Do they think the same thing Im thinking?

But I guess the fact is, good things are being done, so should it matter what the motivation is? I guess we should just take what we can get, right? End justifying the means and all that?

I still want to slap her proud smirk off her face.

Thursday, January 25, 2007

 Bleh

That's how Im feeling right now.

Im craving Friday like you cant even imagine.

This week has not been fun. We "went live" with a whole new computer system for the hospital. As you can imagine, there were kinks that still need to be worked out. As a result of the stress of getting used to the new system, and getting frustrated when these issues happen, everyone is pretty cranky.

And of course it's been a super busy week. Murphy wouldnt have let it be a slow week.

But the worst part is the bad news that just keeps coming.

A coworker/friend who has always been so wonderful to me, who thought she was having a major, but routine procedure done found out now that she has cancer and has a long road ahead of her.

Another friend who is fighting cancer hasnt been feeling great at all and has to go for some more tests, which put her chemo on hold for a bit, and could end up having an even bigger fight.

It's not fair. These women are such great people. All of the cancer patients I see every day are wonderful, kind people. Ive asked this before, but why is it that being good is such a high risk factor? Why cant the child molesters, wife beaters, and basically evil types be the ones who have to deal with this? I dont get it. I really dont.

It gets me so down sometimes.

And then there's my mom who Ive been bugging to go get some health stuff checked out who's blowing me off. I know that she has convinced herself that since nobody told her anything's wrong, that she's fine. But I just want her to get checked out. Most likely, it's nothing, and wouldnt it be great to have that peace of mind? And if it's something small that could turn big, isnt it better to get it taken care of while it's easy? Why cant I get her to "get" that? Another big part of her problem is that her insurance is beyond annoying with referrals and stuff, and her primary care, which is about the only one in her network that's a reasonable location is an idiot. She's tried to change before and hasnt found anyone that takes what she has that's not a haul away. She did say there's someone new, but I dont know how far she's gone towards taking steps to make the change. I hate worrying about her. I hate living far away, but GOD I wouldnt want to live in Jersey again, and she has no interest in moving away from her friends.

So between worrying about my mom, worrying about my friends, and dealing with cranky people galore, you can see why Im pretty down, and ready for some good stuff. Ill even settle for just a few days with my kitties and nothing else planned.

Thank God tomorrow is Friday.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

 100th Post!

And I guess that means I have to write 100 things about me, right? Isnt that the tradition?
This might get boring, and Ill be repeating stuff Ive mentioned before, but Ill give it a shot...

1. I was born in NJ
2. I went to my freshman year of college in NY
3. (that was Hofstra University)
4. I transferred to Indiana University of Pennsylvania
5. It cost me more for that one year at Hofstra than 4 years at IUP
6. I pledged a sorority my freshman year
7. I transferred that too
8. Im still active in an alumna capacity
9. It irks the shit out of me when people say alumni when they should be saying alumnae
10. I graduated with a BS in Education
11. I hated student teaching, but by then it was too late to change majors.
12. After I graduated college the first time, I moved to MA
13. I worked as a nanny for a year
14. Then I worked at a scary private school for kids with "special emotional needs"
15. I lasted at that job for about 6 weeks. The kids werent the only crazy ones. The place is since shut down for the child abuse imposed there.
16. I worked as a E911 communications officer for a small town in MA
17. I then worked as a desk officer for a college police department
18. After getting a part time holiday job at Bath and Body Works just for the discount, I got sucked in and then hired as a manager
19. I spent too many years in retail hell after that.
20. I lived in Atlanta for 6 months before moving back to MA because I met a man.
21. I got engaged.
22. I got disengaged.
23. I moved to Arizona.
24. I burn VERY easily.
25. I can swim, but I hate to swim. Water in my ears and up my nose freaks me out.
26. If I had a previous live, I suspect I died from drowning.
27. I drove cross country with just my two kitties back and forth.
28. After Arizona I lived in Maryland.
29. I finally got out of retail hell and went into business to business sales.
30. I made great money, but had zero job satisfaction.
31. I went back to school, in Lancaster, PA this time.
32. I graduated with a 3.98.
33. I still cant get over that .02! (dang group project is what did me in- slackers!)
34. I am now a Nuclear Medicine Technologist.
35. If I want to sound more impressive, I just say I work in Nuclear Medicine- it's funny how if you drop the word Technologist, people think it's a huge impressive job.
36. It drives me apeshit batty when people say Technician.
37. It also drives me batty (but not apeshit) when people say Nyoucular Med.
38. I got recruited out of school to move to hell-frozen-over Vermont.
39. The one day I went for my interview in May was the only day it was above freezing, I think.
40. I had my heating pipes freeze and blast a hole through my wall.
41. I started looking for jobs down south that weekend.
42. I live in NC now.
43. I love love love my apartment.
44. I have a screened in porch which is both my and my cats' favorite room.
45. We also LOVE our fireplace.
46. I live on the second floor, which is also the top floor.
47. I refer to this as the penthouse. (Because afterall, it's the best!)
48. Pretty Woman is one of my favorite movies.
49. I love my next door share-steps-with neighbor, she's a very sweet single chick.
50. I DO NOT love my downstairs neighbors, they have brought bugs to the building.
51. I may be getting new downstairs neighbors because they current ones might be evicted
52. I had a dream last night there were lost of snakes in my apartment. Id be scared to have that analyzed!
53. Very often I dream that I am in my gramma's place.
54. She's been gone since I was in 8th grade.
55. I have no grandparents left alive.
56. I miss my maternal grandmother the most.
57. I know from my dreams that she watches over me.
58. I wish SHE would be in the dream, instead of just her home. I think that'd make me miss her more though.
59. I spent alot of time doing my family tree a few years ago.
60. I come from Smith's and Millers. There are some Johnsons on that tree too.
61. I was surprised that I actually traced MY Smith's back to the 1700's. Not an easy task! But it helps that they all lived in the same area for the whole time.
62. My other lines have only been in this country for 2 generations, they arent easy to trace :(
63. Im of Irish descent.
64. There's German in there too, but for some reason, nobody in the family claims that, we only claim the Irish.
65. I have a wreath on my door that's Shamrocks.
66. I really dig being Irish.
67. My looks are described as "Black Irish". Im a classic example- nearly black hair, white white white skin, blue eyes.
68. We have a theory that there's a gggrandmother out there who was actually Native American based on her picture. She DEFINITELY did not look German.
69. We also suspect she came from The Carlisle Indian School, either a runaway, or from their "Outing System". No proof at all, just stories from a now-diseased g-aunt and my gut. And the fact that these people lived fairly close to Carlisle.
70. If I ever move back to PA I will definitely pursue more genealogy research. It's too hard from far away.
71. Im the "keeper of the pictures" in my family.
72. I really need to get off my butt and scan them all.
73. On my mom's side, the only side that matters, I have 3 uncles, two aunts, and 11 cousins.
74. I have one older sister.
75. And a nephew cat named Huckleberry.
76. They live with my mom.
77. Huck gets very jealous when she talks on the phone to my cats.
78. My cats LOVE to talk on the phone. Stick a phone in their face and they meow their heads off, and rub all happy on it.
79. When my phone rings, Ringo tries to answer it.
80. I am aware that my cats are freaks.
81. I love them anyway.
82. Ringo has a little OCD condition with getting his claw stuck over and over in blankets and chewing it free. He wont stop till I force him to, it drives me nuts when he does it when Im trying to sleep.
83. Seamus has Hypertrophic Cardiomyopathy. He takes meds 2 times a day. He is the best pill taking kitty cat in the world. Im very thankful for that!!
84. Ever since Ringo tried to talk to Dell Tech support Max on the phone and Max asked if that was a "kiTTy caT" totally emphasizing the T's I have said it that way too because it cracks me up.
85. We also used to refer to the ForT PiTT Tunnels the same way.
86. Ive found that the phrase "If you get to the airport youve gone too far" is a great rule of thumb.
87. When I lived in MA people always used to use "the big white church with the steeple" as a landmark for where to turn. This baffled me because there is a big white church with a steeple on almost every corner.
88. I drive a purple saturn.
89. I bought it because it was purple.
90. I prefer cool colors to warm ones, but I usually have yellow in my kitchen. This may be a subconscious Brady Bunch homage.
91. I have lots of food allergies.
92. I actually have something called OAS, and it's severe.
93. Apples send me into anaphylactic shock.
94. I can eat cooked apples though, apple pie is yummy, not deadly.
95. I landed in the ER not breathing after eating undercooked corn on the cob.
96. I hate being afraid of fruits and vegetables.
97. Im also a somewhat picky eater.
98. I hate condiments, ketchup makes me gag at just the thought of it.
99. I wish I wasnt a picky eater full of allergies.
100. I guess babbling about myself wasnt so hard afterall! Not sure what that says about me... :)

Monday, January 22, 2007

 You say it's your birthday?- IT'S MY BIRTHDAY TOO!

Friday, January 19, 2007

 I'M SO EXCITED!!

I got summoned to jury duty!!

Now I know most people dont get happy on this, but I have ALWAYS wanted to go. Ive only ever been called once before and that was from NJ when I was in college in PA 6 hours away so I couldnt go. I dont just mean that I said no, because I tried to postpone it for summer break, but THEY said no, that if I was living out of state I couldnt do it. :(

That was like 18 years ago and Ive never been called since... And today I got called!!! It's not till the end of Feb but Im still excited. Im PRAYING that I get picked for a really cool (really long, but pretend I didnt say that part ) case. Im so afraid I wont get picked! Or even worse, there's a number Im supposed to call the day before and they might even say I dont have to come at all. :(

My job pays 100% of my salary for as long as Im at Jury Duty and I TOTALLY wish it was sooner, while Im still definitely on this horrifically boring light duty gig, but still, Im wicked excited!!

It's district court though, so that probably means lame stuff, right?

BUT IM STILL SO FREAKING EXCITED!!!!

Just call me Juror number 178!

Thursday, January 18, 2007

 What's in a name?

Im easily amused. One of the things that cracks me up is when we have patients that share names with celebrities.

It cracks me up to see a name on the schedule of some star, and then see who actually shows up.

When I was in breast care I was hanging films of a patient who shared the name with a 70's tv star known for having particularly large breasts. The ones on the film were tiny. Like dorks, we made stupid comments like "wow, they looked so much bigger on tv!" or, "i didnt realize she was just stuffing her bra!".

It's stupid and probably childish, but it's really funny in the moment.

Yesterday there was a guy on the schedule who shared the name of a guy I went to HS with. The HS friend was a tall skinny white dude. The patient who showed up was an older supersized black dude. It took all I had to not say "Wow, youve changed!"

I still giggled to myself after he was gone.

Like I said, Im a dork.

Today there was a patient who shared his name with a movie character. It took me half the day to figure out why the name was so familiar. Unfortunately, the patient was not nearly as hot as the actor who played the character. Then again on those reenactments, the actors are always better than the real people they are playing.

I wonder if one of these days there'll be a famous name on the schedule, and the actual real famous person will show up. I have a feeling that I wouldnt believe it was really them...

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

 Ouch!

My tongue is probably bleeding by now from me biting it for so long.

I am trying to hold my words in on something and it's getting harder and harder.

Without getting into the details, basically I SERIOUSLY disagree with some stuff that some friends are doing/saying. It's not like they are going to hurt anyone or anything, so it's not like I have an obligation to stop them.

But I do think they are making some poor choices that will make them look foolish. I also think these choices will bite them in the ass later and end up making stuff harder in the future.

But how do you say "Quit whining and finger pointing, suck it up and take accountability for your part/lack of part, and instead of bitching about the past, figure out a way to make the future better" without hurting feelings and pissing people off? How do you say "you look like idiots to people youd rather have the respect of" without doing the same?

They so firmly believe that THEY are right. I know they are too close to step back and see the big picture.

I have tried to put some suggestions out there and have been COMPLETELY shot down. Quickly. They are clearly unopen to hearing anything but "rah rah, you all know EVERYTHING and everyone else SUCKS".

The shitty part of this all is that Im afraid that it's lose/lose.

I say something, it pisses them off. I say nothing, it bites them in the ass, they blame me for not saying anything. Or, I say nothing, they continue on and I lose respect for them and lose the friendships anyway.

I guess I need to just accept that the friendships started based on a common goal. Goals have changed, and what we had just wasnt strong enough to sustain the friendships.

There is one in the group that sees my way, and agrees that resistance is futile. She and I have a friendship that is getting stronger.

So I can hold onto that. Id rather one great friend than 6 casual ones.

Still sucks though.

Monday, January 15, 2007

 What a week

So yeah, Im back to my old slacker ways. However, I did write many posts in my head over the last week. Lemmesee if I can remember any of them!

The one in which my car was stolen...
So I got home Wednesday night from a dinner meeting that made me very cranky. I drive up and see that there are no spots in front of my apartment so I have to go park over by the dumpster. I had another car that last winter got sick. The heater blower died, and it had an oil leak. I bought my new car without ever doing anything with this one. First, I couldnt find the title, and then, well, I just got lazy. But ironically, on the way home from work that day I was mentally composing my Craigslist post to sell it. I was going to list for 500 and let it go for 200, it was old, lots o miles, and in need of repair. So I pull into a space by the dumpster, and suddenly realize this was the space that my other car was parked in previously. But not anymore. Nope, that car was gone. Way to top off an already uber cranky mood! I figured that it wasnt REALLY stolen, that it was towed, but I was still pissed. (The fact that the car hadnt been started in months so probably had a dead battery, and by then most of the oil had probably leaked out so the thief wouldnt have gotten far was my first hint!)

The pathetic part is that I could not remember the last time I had noticed it actually being there! (it was towed 6 days earlier)

So I called the apartment complex in the morning and yes, it was towed. They switched dumpster companies and they needed all the cars over there moved so they could bring the new dumpster in. They claimed they put a note on it. Lovely. I called the place it was towed to and it was going to cost me $300 to get it back. I asked what if I just signed the title over to them? They said that'd do. Ok so I got rid of that other car, without having to go to the stress of trying to sell the POS. Of course I didnt make anything on it, but at least I didnt have to pay $300 to get it back to sell it for $200! And problem solved!

The post in which I talk about blessings in disguise...
Did you ever notice how sometimes bad shit seems to happen, but it turns out to really be a good thing? The mess with my car was like that. The problem was solved for me, and that's good. Also, I thought my good car's registration ran out at the end of January, but when I was looking in my wallet for the registration for the other, I saw it expired on 1/15. So that problem was adverted too!

Stuff like this has happened to me many times, which Ive posted about before to a point. The one that I never posted about was the roadtrip from hell that was really my guardian angel copiloting without me realizing it. I was moving from Arizona to Maryland, driving a big ol Budget truck, towing my car behind. Me and my 2 cats going cross country all by ourselves. I had it planned perfectly... I had friends at certain places across the country that I was going to stop at so I only had to pay for a hotel the first night, I was shooting for Winslow, AZ so I could stand on a corner there- I hear it's such a fine site to see.

Well the Budget people disagreed with my plan. When I first went to pick it up they had the wrong sized truck. They had the GINORMOUS truck from hell! They claimed they were upgrading me. I disagreed. I refused to drive an 18 wheeler sized monstrosity WITH my car towed behind, said reservations are just that, please get me my still-too-big-but-not-quite-as-scary sized! They said the closest was in Vegas. I said that'd do, I hadnt finished packing yet. But because of this, I didnt get to make it all the way to Winslow that night. I cant remember the town I did stop at, but I ate dinner at "Joe and Aggie's Cafe and Barbershop". I have the magnet to prove it. It rawked.

The next morning I was going to try and haul ass to make it to west TX where I had the first friend I was staying with. In the middle of the Acoma reservation I had a blowout on the truck. After calling from the Casino/Laundromat, and many hours later, and many miles BACKTRACKED and another quite amusing and long story Im not up for typing right now. Guess what though, didnt make it to west TX. Because of this though, Budget paid for every hotel across the country, and took $200 off the total cost.

I found out later that there were bad storms in Eastern NM that day that knocked out power to half the state. That power outage included gas pumps, I would have been stranded anyway. The storms moved to TX where I would have been in golf ball sized hail. In PA there was a big ol rock slide that shut down the Turnpike. I think there were other disasters I missed that I cant think of, but those are enough, arent they?

I missed all these problems because of what I thought was a horrible thing happening to me (the blowout). I saved TONS of money because of it. AND I had many funny stories to tell because of it.

So yeah, blessings in disguise rock.

The one in which I talk about Howard Jones...
Why is it that "No One is to Blame" is his most popular, most remembered song? I can name at least 20 that I like better than that one.

Ok that's it for now. I feel better about not posting for a week now :)

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

 Go Heels!!

I never before cared about college basketball, but moving to North Carolina means I have no choice! One other thing helped make me a fan- my friend is the Aunt of the best player in college ball!!

Sunday, January 07, 2007

 Puzzle #1 DONE!

Many years ago I had a boyfriend that I used to do puzzles with. We were broke and couldnt afford to go out much, and somehow we got hooked on staying in and working jigsaws. It is actually a pretty cool date activity believe it or not. It allows for lots of chatting, if you want, or you can just focus on the task if that's what you want too. The best times in that relationship that I remember were spent around his table with a billion jigsaw pieces scattered around. We did some cool 3d ones, and we did some mystery type ones where you had to put the puzzle together to figure out the clues to solve the crime. We werent just doing shots of kittens ;)

Thursday, January 04, 2007

 People amaze me

Today I saw people at their best and their worst. It blows my mind how some can be so caring, thoughtful and giving without hesitation, while others are just nasty and hateful.

Im so blessed that I have much more of the first type than the second.

I just wish I had a magic wand to turn the latter into the former...

Today I found out something bad happened to a friend of mine. I told some of my other friends, simply to ask them to keep her in their prayers and good thoughts. But no, some of these women couldnt stop at just that, they immediately went into "how can I help" mode, offering to give and do for this friend of mine who theyve never met, who they probably never will meet because they are states away, but they were still wanting to help. For no reason other than they are great people with huge hearts. It moved me to tears.

Im trying to hold on to that because in another totally unrelated subject I got to experience coldness and nastiness for no other reason than they are small people with tiny hearts.

It is truly mind blowing how easily a person's character can be seen, and how many types there are in this world of each extreme.

Also tonight I had the unfortunate task of calling to make a vet appointment for Seamus and his unhappy bowels. The receptionist recognized who I was when I called. Now this is a very big vet practice. Ok, Ive unfortunately been there way too often in the past year, but still, for her to know exactly who I was when I called, and to care how my little boy is doing... I know my babies are in good hands there. So I have to tell you, if youre someone googling Raleigh Veterinarians, you need to go to Bowman Animal Hospital. They are phenomenal. Im not the only one who thinks it too. I have friends and coworkers who take their furry petites there and love them too. They arent the cheapest vet around, but they are, without a doubt, unequivocally, the most caring, and you cant put a value on that.

So wish Seamus luck tomorrow at 1:20!

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

 Well it's been three days

And Ive kept up what I said- I do something productive and then I post. I know it's just three days, but I have to say Im proud of myself :) I wanted to post earlier, but I didnt let myself because I hadnt done anything productive yet. So then I did multiple productive things, and then played online for a while and was just about to go to bed with a book when I realized I hadnt posted, so I came back to do it! So maybe this will work... maybe Ill actually develop some good habits!!

In other good news...
Im recovering pretty well. Ive walked like an actual normal person! As the day progresses I get slower because Im sore, but it's a surgical sore I think, not the evil pain that I had before. Im hoping I continue to improve and have no backsliding and end up 100% good as new. I really want to put the shitty 2006 behind me and make this a good year.

I got a little depressed on NYE, I was feeling stagnant. Im not sure if that's the right word, but Im not sure how better to clarify my emotion. It's just that I have such a routine life, which I usually find comfort in, but for some reason the other day I was blue about it. Today Im back to being content to curl up with my book and my kitty cats in my queen sized bed that I sleep in the middle of after having a pop-tart for dinner. Im glad Im over the funk that threatened, but I guess it was maybe a wake-up that I need to do something. What, I dont know. Before I went back to school I felt that way, then I found a new calling, loved school and loved my job. I think the fact that it's been 10 months since Ive done my actual job might account for some of these feelings.

Ive learned a ton and met alot of amazing people doing all the other jobs that Ive done while on restricted duty, but Im hoping that in another week Ill be back to full duty, back in my old position, and feeling fulfilled again. It's going to be weird, there's been a big staff turnover in my dept since Ive been not there, and Im not sure how Ill fit in to this new mix, but Im hoping all is wonderful. Ive fit in great in every other department they put me in, so I can only guess that the same will be true when I get back "home". We'll see...

Ok Im off to curl up with my book and my kitties in my big bed that I sleep in the middle of...

Gnight!

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

 Happy Birthday Julie (and Ed)!

Today is a very old friend's birthday. We met in kindergarten, and stayed friends till our 20's. After she moved to the west coast (Tuscon) and got married and I moved to New England we ended losing touch and I think that sucks. Her new last name is way too common to look her up in the phone book so Im not sure how to track her down. Hell, she could even be remarried by now!

We're both January Babies though so we always celebrated our birthdays together, and every year on her birthday I think of her and send good thoughts out to the universe for her. Id like to think she thinks of me on my birthday too. (Btw, in case youre googling yourself Julie Vitelli Chavez, this post's for you! And leave me a comment- it sends me an email and Id love to see how youre doing!)

Because I never will forget her birthday, I also remember that it is the birthday of another guy we went to High School with, he actually graduated with my sister. So today I IM'd her a happy Ed Avila's birthday. I guess it prompted her to google him out of curiosity for what he's up to these days. Well apparently he's an actor now and has his own IMBD page! (ok so I never heard of the stuff he's been in, and has played "Elevator Man", "Grungy Man", "Angry Politician", and "Homeless Man", but he has two parts on there that actually have names too! And I bet he's happy, so that's all that matters) He's also in a band (no surprise, he was one of the rock stars in high school- you know how every school has the cool rock band- ours was White Lightening!) I think it's cool to see a co-alum doing well and doing what he loves. So Ed, if youre googling yourself, Happy Birthday to you, and Im really happy for you!

Monday, January 01, 2007

 Habits

So after November I was so in the habbit of writing here that it was something I could easily do with no thought. But then I had surgery 2 weeks ago and for the first week pretty much did nothing but take drugs and sleep. That one week was enough time to get me out of the habbit of writing. All last week Id think about writing a post, but Id play another Sudoku game instead. Not writing became a habbit. One week and everything was shot to hell.

So Im trying again to get back into it. And even though Im not a fan of resolutions, Im going to try to make habits instead. Im going to try to get back into this habbit. Im also going to try and start some other good habits too. Im thinking that if I could maybe attach them together... you know like write in the blog and then do some type of cleaning/tidying in the apartment right after (or before), then I can keep the place actually neat all the time instead of having to do big cleanings.

It could work. Maybe? I did just unload the dishwasher before sitting down to write this, and that's what made me think of it. I actually like writing in here, so maybe this can work. And then maybe it wont be an effort to keep the apartment neat, it'll just be a habbit?

I hope.


And on another totally different topic...
So this weekend I watched a lot of the SVU marathon and the Monk marathon (yes, I party hard for the new year) and I am SO SICK OF THIS COMMERCIAL!! Apparently there's some type of fight show tonight with K-fed, who they keep referring to as "America's Most Hated". Um, does anyone hate him? As far as I can tell, those who actually have a clue who he is just feel bad for him, or dont give a shit about him at all. Does anyone hate him??


And another totally different topic...
It seems like kiwi was the big answer for the picture in question. I thought sushi, but not a single other person guessed that (I had alot of my friends answer, so I had more guesses than just the comments here) so I guess I was wrong :(


And one more totally different topic...
Ive been off work for two weeks while I had my surgery to fix me. Im scared to go back, because since Ive been taking it easy I dont know if Im truly fixed or not. While Im doing nothing more than watching USA marathons, playing Sudoku, and working on a jigsaw puzzle, I can believe that I am fixed. When I go back tomorrow I will have a better idea of if the surgery worked or not. I was told that there was a 50% chance that this wouldnt work, and that I would be permanently in major pain. Im trying to believe that there is a 50% chance that it did work, but Im scared to find out. So if you can send any good thoughts my way, I need them. Im really really scared that it didnt work. I took a huge risk and leap of faith to have the surgery, since I went off on my own and this is a workers comp case, but I had my insurance do this. It HAS to work or Im fuct.

Ill let you know tomorrow...